Comparisons of big money transfer signings in football to Russian roulette aren't far fetched. This article chronicles the one that went awry in the past five years. Starting with..
#12. Emmanuel Adebayor.
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| I love that badge. Okay, now my £1 million. |
Emmanuel Adebayor has been one of the more expensive transfers for Manchester City over the recent years. The Togolese footballer was signed for £25 million on a five-year deal from Arsenal. However, his time at City was marred with controversies, being involved in an incident with former teammate Robin van Persie – who accused him of kicking him in the face, resulting in a three-match ban. His second season at City couldn’t have gone worse, with only 5 appearances and no goals. His celebration against his former side, which saw the striker run on the by line in front of his former fans, brought about intense criticism and controversy, which didn’t help matters.
A few hours before deadline day in the summer of 2008, two big events happened in the blue half of Manchester. First was the transfer of powers from former Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra to the Abu Dhabi United Group and the other the arrival of then-24-year-old Robinho for a sum of €42 million. In return, the club was rewarded with free-of-corruption millions and a "star" forward who lasted an entire season.
During his magical 18-month vacation at the club, the Brazilian from São Vicente made headlines from day one to day last. From claiming he was happy at joining Chelsea to being brought on as a substitute only to be substituted later in the match, Robinho had seen the world. Or England, anyway. The then-most expensive man in British football returned to his home club on loan, because no club is stupid enough to invest in a bear (market).
As for putting the ball in the net, Robinho managed 14 goals in the sky blue jersey at an average of..
#11. Robson de Souza aka Robinho.
During his magical 18-month vacation at the club, the Brazilian from São Vicente made headlines from day one to day last. From claiming he was happy at joining Chelsea to being brought on as a substitute only to be substituted later in the match, Robinho had seen the world. Or England, anyway. The then-most expensive man in British football returned to his home club on loan, because no club is stupid enough to invest in a bear (market).
As for putting the ball in the net, Robinho managed 14 goals in the sky blue jersey at an average of..
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| Manchester is really cold, you know. |
..€3 million per goal. São, you little man. Oh, I mean ciao.
In 2009, Liverpool signed an injured player in Alberto Aquilani for a fee believed to be in the region of €20 million. The playmaker made 26 appearances in his first season and only 2 in his second, accumulating 2 goals in the process. Although Rafa Benitez kept faith in the player, ankle injuries kept the trequartista on the sidelines, which resulted in the sides' failure to successfully replace Xabi Alonso in the midfield.
Youtube-superstar
Ricardo Quaresma is known for his flashy hairstyles and stepovers.
Sadly, he never lived up to his potential and was overshadowed by his
compatriot Cristiano Ronaldo, and a million others.
Having a cumulative transfer fees more than most players on the planet, Quaresma has travelled across the globe in the pursuit of becoming a global superstar. His ambitions have been thwarted with bad choices, inconsistent form and clashes with the club management. His unwillingness to cooperate and poor performances led to his departure to Sporting’s rivals Porto, after which he travelled to Italy and won the Bidon D’Or – or in other words, the worst player in the league.
Guus
Hiddink’s arrival at Chelsea meant that the Blues, who were struggling
in the Premier League needed some fresh faces in the side, and out of
all the available humans on the planet, they opted for the Portuguese on
loan, where his bad form continued. Inter made attempts to offload him
when he returned to Serie A at the end of the season, but he attracted
no interest from potential suitors. Quaresma secured a €7.3 million move
to Besiktas on a three-year deal, where he clashed with the manager and
was released six months prior to his contract’s expiry.
Now he plays in Dubai.
#10. Alberto Aquilani.
In 2009, Liverpool signed an injured player in Alberto Aquilani for a fee believed to be in the region of €20 million. The playmaker made 26 appearances in his first season and only 2 in his second, accumulating 2 goals in the process. Although Rafa Benitez kept faith in the player, ankle injuries kept the trequartista on the sidelines, which resulted in the sides' failure to successfully replace Xabi Alonso in the midfield.
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| You mean the F1 driver? I heard they've reserves too. |
#9. Ricardo Quaresma Bernardo.
Having a cumulative transfer fees more than most players on the planet, Quaresma has travelled across the globe in the pursuit of becoming a global superstar. His ambitions have been thwarted with bad choices, inconsistent form and clashes with the club management. His unwillingness to cooperate and poor performances led to his departure to Sporting’s rivals Porto, after which he travelled to Italy and won the Bidon D’Or – or in other words, the worst player in the league.
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| His favourite kit. |
Now he plays in Dubai.
#8. Nuri Şahin.
“I have developed into a player who has the potential to make it at Real Madrid. That is why I have signed a six-year contract there,” said a proud Nuri Şahin at his last Dortmund press conference. Well, for a li’l while at least.
Part of the three midfield-musketeers Borussia Dortmund had, the German-born Turkish went to Los Blancos for €10 million. In his first and only season at the club, he managed a colossal 10 games in total – scoring once and assisting twice in the process.
With just five years left on his six-year contract, Şahin was packed off to England’s Liverpool on loan - which culminated in a neat and beautiful press conference. Two years from when he set off for an Eurotrip, Nuri is now the lone musketeer at Signal Iduna Park having participated in 22 club friendlies. Good afternoon to you, sire!
#7. Robert "Robbie" Keane.
Tottenham Chairman Daniel Levy’s financial workings have always impressed me. But I heavily doubt even he concocted this Irish mock-tale. On 28 July 2008, Tottenham confirmed the sale of Keane to Liverpool for £20 million. On 2 February 2009, Liverpool confirmed the sale of Keane to Tottenham for £12 million.
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| My math has always been weak. |
For a guy who scores for a living, Robbie notched up seven over 28 games in what must have been one of Liverpool’s best signings over the past decade. Before all those goals started flowing though, the Irish legend remarked, "It's absolutely fantastic, a real dream come true for me," along with a lot of other Van Persie-sque dialogues. However, the Manchester United-man made sure his words were backed up with a Premier League medal; whereas all Robbie Keane had was a newspaper train advert that ran, “Liverpool to London return faster than Robbie Keane”.
Ouch.
#6. Christopher Samba.
Christopher Samba developed a reputation of a solid center back in his five years for Blackburn Rovers. His performances led to interest from the top sides across the globe, and he finally made his move to the rich Anzhi Makhachkala for £12.3 million and £100,000-a-week.
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| No, that's not the name of the mafia in Russia. |
However, money can’t buy happiness and Samba soon realized that he had left the greener pastures of rainy England for cold Russia when he was subjected to racism in a match against Zenit St Petersburg. A £12.5 million move to Queens Park Rangers followed where he, a 1.93m-100 kg giant, said he could not cope up with the physical demands of the Premier League. A move back to Russia was on the cards and Anzhi bid £12 million pounds to bring their center-back, back into the team. Thus ended the strangest and one of the most needlessly-expensive football transfers you will ever see.
Chris may have accumulated enough airfare points to travel from England to Russia for free, though. I guess that counts for something.
#5. Dmytro Chygrynskiy.
What is €25 million to FC Barcelona? Negligible might be a very good answer, considering that seemed the proper valuation of a 22-year-old Champions-League-tied Ukrainian centre-back in 2009. Hell, Barça’s then-director of football Txiki Begiristain was so confident that he said
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| The only day he appeared in a Barcelona kit. |
Ten months and 14 matches later, Chygrynskiy was offloaded to his old club for financial reasons, going for €15 million. The Ukrainian was (the only one) surprised, and declared that he would prove new Blaugrana president Sandro Rossell wrong. This he achieved by not making the squad for his national team in any competitive match whatsoever.
The only good that came out of this comical situation was Shakhtar Donetsk laughing all the way to the bank. Quite literally it’d seem, in fact.
#4. Andrew "Andy" Carroll.
Kenny Dalglish’s second tenure at Anfield was, to say the least, taxing on the account books. A big chunk of that was England and Newcastle United’s Andy Carroll – signed for £35 million, making him the eighth overall most expensive footballer at the time, and also the most expensive British footballer of *all* time. For a player who was the sixth joint-top scorer in the Championship the season before, he was clearly doing something right.
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| I do hope that kid in the top-stand is fine. |
Or maybe not. In his next 58 appearances for his new club, Carroll managed to score a staggering 11 times, thus averaging £3.2 million per goal – eclipsing Robinho by far. It must have taken some confidence for Liverpool – with owners who have been in charge only since October, a new director of football and a caretaker manager – to spend £35m on a forward whose only proven track record thus far was a worryingly volatile private life. In return, the lad from Gateshead only reiterated the stupidity of leaving trivial matters for deadline day.
Incidentally, the very same day as Carroll’s arrival, Kenny the Scot had captured another controversial figure a few hours earlier in the name of Luis Suárez for £22.8 million.
You may split your sides now.
#3. Fernando Torres Sanz.
£50 million deadline day move and the sixth most expensive footballer in history, Fernando Torres shook the Premier League by securing a controversial move to rivals Chelsea. One might argue that a player with a record of 84 goals in 214 appearances for Atletico Madrid, and 65 times in 102 domestic games for Liverpool is bound to succeed.
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| On my world, the 's' stands for "try again." |
However, it took the Spanish international 903 minutes for his first and only goal for the Blues in his debut season after which he has only found the net 33 times in 113 appearances for the London-based club. His time at Chelsea has been marred by injuries, and has become a figure of fun for the opposition fans, who take great pleasure in mocking his inability to score in a Blue shirt.
Fernando Torres may want to finish his career at Chelsea.
Wait, hasn’t he already?
Wait, hasn’t he already?
#2. Zlatan Ibrahimović.
"What has happened to me is like a film with a happy ending," said Zlatan, after arriving in Spain. But the Swede missed out on the single most important peculiarity of life – unlike the movies, it can only end once. Though his Nou Camp career got off to a great start – scoring seven in his first seven league fixtures, things went downhill after that as Lionel Messi, four-time Ballon d'Or winner, demanded to be played as the central striker.
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| Barça could've had 46 Enzos instead, one for each player and staff. And the remaining two for us. |
"I have won everything in Italy. It's time to move on!" Ibrahimović had written on his Twitter page before joining the tiki-taka masters. "I want the Champions League title." Ironically, it was Eto’o who went on to capture a second consecutive European continental treble.
Some things are just not meant to be. The list of Taylor Swift’s top ten songs continues here.
#1. Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite aka Kaká.
Ricardo Kaká’s arrival at the Estadio Santiago Bernabeu for a sum of €68.5 million brought about immense expectations in the summer of 2009. His compatriot, Cristiano Ronaldo broke the transfer record on his arrival from Manchester United for a sum of €94 million and has established himself as one of the greatest players the world has ever seen, whereas his Brazilian teammate has been warming the bench – with Mesut Özil and Luka Modrić, being chosen ahead of the former Ballon d’Or winner. His record transfer from the San Siro announced Perez’s reign as Real Madrid president.
After the 2010 World Cup that Kaká took part in, he suffered a string of injuries that threatened the end of his career and forced him to undergo surgery. Having never quite recovered from his injuries, the Brazilian was sidelined, with younger and fitter players fighting for the first team place.
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| ♫ I could've had it all, rollin' in Madrid! ♫ |
Have a different opinion? Don't think these transactions were the worst in the past five years? Let us know, in the comments below or at our Facebook page.
Contributed by: Saad Rashid and Akhil Arora.
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